at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
