my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
