u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Are my feet made of real feet?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
