I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
