He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
