My brain says no but my pants say off.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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