fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
