Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
