Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
