But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize