the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize