They should really pass out barf bags in church
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
