she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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