sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize