I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize