I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
