# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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