I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
