This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
