where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
