i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
