3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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