it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
