i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
