U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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