Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize