As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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