i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
