I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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