names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize