On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
