your parents love me but you hate me
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
one two three fourrrrnication!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
