So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
