Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
