Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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