garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Holy sore nipples Batman
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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