So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just threw up on my dentist
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
