Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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