He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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