My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize