I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
