i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
