I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
