Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
