Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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