I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
