Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
