Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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