remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
