that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i think my cat just said my name.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
