Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
