I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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