I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
