I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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