I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
