fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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