Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize