This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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