i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
