Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
