You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
