4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
