forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize