Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
