also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Panties = found
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
