just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
