I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
