There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He shit in the fireplace
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
