Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize