so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
