Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
