you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
