is wine microwaveable?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
