Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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