i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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