are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
