There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
